On Grieving: The Lives We’ve Lost
Of all the human emotions, I’ve always found grief to be the most intriguing. It manifests itself in so many strange little ways, bubbling up here and there, sometimes in thoughts and words, and sometimes in scents and memories.
We associate grief with mourning the loss of life when one departs from this world, but there’s another kind of grief we’re all witnessing now – the loss of past lives.
The lives people have lost are not limited to the numbers we see on screen; even those who stand before us are grieving the loss of their own lives as they knew them. A traumatic event takes and takes away from you – and you grieve the loss of experiences you missed out on, how your life used to be, or even grieve over something that never came to fruition, that could have been.
Each day at Sakeenah Canada, we witness women bravely leaving behind their past lives and starting new beginnings. While we tend to celebrate the freedom and autonomy women gain when they’re able to move past the abuse and trauma, it’s easy to forget to hold space for grieving the loss of their past lives.
When it comes to intimate partner violence especially, there is a level of security in staying in an abusive situation - it’s familiar and provides a home, shelter, and even financial stability - which makes it so hard to leave. While abuse should never be familiar, it’s natural to miss familiar things, even if they are causing you harm.
“The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases Our Lord.” - Sahih Muslim 2315
As Muslims, we know grief is a natural part of life and we hold space for those emotions and tears, but we also persevere with patience. Patience is grieving with perspective. It’s natural to be sad about leaving the life you had, and it’s okay to grieve that loss, even if you know what’s coming is better for you.
Let your grief, or any emotions, wash over you, but never let them drown you.
Written by Hira Irfan - Marketing Coordinator at Sakeenah Canada. I love anything creative and using that creativity to serve my community. I’m a proud cat mom of two!
About Sakeenah
Sakeenah Canada, a national charitable organization, was founded in 2018 in response to a gap in culturally and religiously sensitive services available for women and children facing domestic violence and homelessness. Since then, our services have expanded to include mental health therapy and counseling. Sakeenah has also started The People’s Market, a food program that helps combat food insecurity, and has become the first licensed foster care agency for Muslim children in all of North America. We currently operate 8 transitional homes across Canada: Toronto, Brampton, Milton, London, Montreal, Ottawa, Winnipeg, and Regina, in addition to the first long-term housing program for Muslim women and children in Canada, in Windsor.
