Guide to Being A Supportive Friend: How To Help Someone Experiencing Abuse
The tragic death of Sahra Bulle hit many of us hard. At Sakeenah we know these situations all too well, and we want to help. If you find yourself in a situation where you recognize a friend is experiencing abuse, remember that there are ways to offer support while prioritizing everyone’s safety.
Being a supportive friend is essential when someone you care about is experiencing abuse. It can be a challenging and sensitive situation, but your support can make a huge difference in their journey towards safety and healing. In this guide, we will discuss practical steps you can take to be there for your friend during this difficult time.
1. Set up time to talk
Initiating an open and honest conversation is crucial. Try to find a private place and meet them in person. Choosing a private and comfortable space where your friend feels safe to discuss their experiences is incredibly important. Schedule a time to meet and let them know you’re available whenever they need to talk.
2. Express your concern and willingness to listen
Begin the conversation by mentioning that you’ve noticed a change in them. Make it clear that you genuinely care and are ready to listen without judgment. Assure them that your intentions are to support them, no matter what they choose to disclose. Show that you care, but don’t be pushy. You’re here to chat if they ever need to.
3. Be supportive and attentive
When your friend opens up about their situation, it’s important to actively listen and provide emotional support. Show empathy and validate their feelings. Understand that they might be feeling scared, confused, or vulnerable. Let them know that you believe them and are there for them.
4. Offer specific help
Ask your friend what they need from you. Instead of assuming, it’s important to provide assistance tailored to their specific situation. Offer different types of support, such as being a listening ear, helping out with childcare or providing transportation if they need to leave a dangerous environment.
5. Avoid blame, guilt and pressure
While it’s natural to feel angry or frustrated about the abuse your friend is experiencing, it’s essential to avoid blaming them or making them feel guilty. Putting pressure on them to make decisions they may not yet be ready for can be counterproductive. Instead, focus on expressing your concern and validating their experiences.
6. Establish a safety word or signal
Help your friend feel safe by establishing a safety word or signal that they can use to communicate with you discreetly when they are feeling unsafe or if they may be in immediate danger. This can be especially helpful in situations where their abuser might be present.
7. Encourage seeking additional support
Know your limits. I know you want to help your friend but understand your own limitations. You should also seek help when trying to help your friend. We may burn out by providing empathy so understand how much you can do and then encourage seeking additional help, like Sakeenah. Resources like Sakeenah can provide guidance, counseling, and assistance in navigating the process of leaving an abusive situation. If you or someone you know needs help, please reach out to us at info@sakeenahcanada.com.
8. Regularly check in and follow up
Supporting someone experiencing abuse is an ongoing process. Even after the initial conversation, continue to check in with your friend regularly. Offer your support and ask how they are doing. This shows that you genuinely care, and are committed to their well-being.
Supporting a friend through an abusive situation requires patience, empathy and understanding. By following the steps outlined in this guide, you can begin to create the foundation of support they need to feel safe and empowered. Remember, your role as a supportive friend is vital, but it’s also important to encourage your friend to seek professional help and connect with appropriate resources. Together, we can help them navigate their journey towards healing and freedom from abuse.
If you or someone you know is grieving and needs resources for how to navigate it, please click below to watch a recording of our Grief Workshop with Mariyam Zaidi.
About Sakeenah
Sakeenah, a national charitable organization, was founded in 2018 in response to a gap for culturally and religiously sensitive services for women and children facing domestic violence and homelessness. Since then, our services have expanded to include mental health therapy and counseling. Sakeenah has also started The People’s Market, a food program that helps combat food insecurity and most recently, Sakeenah became the first licensed foster care agency for Muslim children in all of North America. We currently operate 7 transitional homes across Canada: Toronto, Brampton, Milton, London, Montreal, Ottawa, and Winnipeg.
For inquiries, please contact:
Hafsa Pathan
Director of Marketing and Communications
P: 1-888-671-3446 Ext. 129